Bless you, readers. Bleaders.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

She works hard for the money

So I have this little theory about my next door neighbor.

Get this: one night I was standing outside smoking a cigarette, when I saw the black car that is generally parked over there pull into the driveway. The girl who lives there got out of the passenger seat, closed the door behind her, and walked up the drive to unlock the door without looking back. I figured she was being dropped off, but the guy driving followed her. She was wearing a very classy black dress, earings, heels, the whole nine yards. He was wearing khakis and a baseball hat.

Nothing too weird about that, right?

Well.

The same thing happened the next time I happened to be outside smoking a cigarette at that hour (about 11:30, midnight). And the next. And the next. Always the same way, always with her dressed to the nines and him looking like a chump, always the same careless exit from the passenger seat with no backwards glance at her companion. BUT... (here it comes:)

Every time it was a different guy. Seriously. Different builds, different ethnicities - it's always some new dude! But she's never driving! It all seems so strange, somehow.

The only possible explanation is that she's a hooker. A classy one. She has them drive her car back to her house (so things don't look suspicious, with a different car in the driveway every night), and occasionally sends them out for things, because the most recent sighting was her standing in her yard wearing a hot pink t-shirt and shorts, looking all coy and mussed, smiling at her gentleman friend - who was smiling back from behind the wheel of her car as he pulled into her driveway without her. Crazy!

It's probably not true. But it makes things interesting.

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