You have to remember...I don't know what I'm talking about

Why do we as a society have this creepy tendency to try to insulate the elderly from the changing world around them? Is it just our generation of grandparents and great-grandparents, or have we always done this? I just can't help but notice that once people hit sixty or so, their families start trying to keep things from them - such as the increasing lack of censorship on TV, the growing failure of even the most brutal depictions of violence to shock jaded theatre-going youths, and the general fact that people have sex with other people. At all.

What's up with that? Are we afraid they won't be able to die peacefully unless we pretend that the world never got any scarier than it was in 1992? And that if they aren't good and peaceful during the twilight years, they'll come back and haunt us? If so, I'm cool with that. Old people ghosts are the worst.

Also, Blogger refuses to acknowledge the fact that I now live in Kansas City, despite my many efforts to inform it of such. What's up with that?

You have to remember...I don't know what I'm talking about

Why do we as a society have this creepy tendency to try to insulate the elderly from the changing world around them? Is it just our generation of grandparents and great-grandparents, or have we always done this? I just can't help but notice that once people hit sixty or so, their families start trying to keep things from them - such as the increasing lack of censorship on TV, the growing failure of even the most brutal depictions of violence to shock jaded theatre-going youths, and the general fact that people have sex with other people. At all.

What's up with that? Are we afraid they won't be able to die peacefully unless we pretend that the world never got any scarier than it was in 1992? And that if they aren't good and peaceful during the twilight years, they'll come back and haunt us? If so, I'm cool with that. Old people ghosts are the worst.

Also, Blogger refuses to acknowledge the fact that I now live in Kansas City, despite my many efforts to inform it of such. What's up with that?

No news is good news

The best thing ever is when you don't have anything to say, and you don't wish you did.

She works hard for the money

So I have this little theory about my next door neighbor.

Get this: one night I was standing outside smoking a cigarette, when I saw the black car that is generally parked over there pull into the driveway. The girl who lives there got out of the passenger seat, closed the door behind her, and walked up the drive to unlock the door without looking back. I figured she was being dropped off, but the guy driving followed her. She was wearing a very classy black dress, earings, heels, the whole nine yards. He was wearing khakis and a baseball hat.

Nothing too weird about that, right?

Well.

The same thing happened the next time I happened to be outside smoking a cigarette at that hour (about 11:30, midnight). And the next. And the next. Always the same way, always with her dressed to the nines and him looking like a chump, always the same careless exit from the passenger seat with no backwards glance at her companion. BUT... (here it comes:)

Every time it was a different guy. Seriously. Different builds, different ethnicities - it's always some new dude! But she's never driving! It all seems so strange, somehow.

The only possible explanation is that she's a hooker. A classy one. She has them drive her car back to her house (so things don't look suspicious, with a different car in the driveway every night), and occasionally sends them out for things, because the most recent sighting was her standing in her yard wearing a hot pink t-shirt and shorts, looking all coy and mussed, smiling at her gentleman friend - who was smiling back from behind the wheel of her car as he pulled into her driveway without her. Crazy!

It's probably not true. But it makes things interesting.

Snazzy new look

As promised, I have "gotten with the program" and changed my blog template. I kind of like it. What do you think?

Hmmm

Okay give me another twelve hours. It's coming. I promise.

I'm so full of crazy

Check out how weird this is: I keep checking my own blog to see if I've updated. Creepy.

Update coming soon. Really. Like, in less than twelve hours. Get excited.

Oh the times they are a-changin'

So Blogger has made a lot of improvements lately, including getting up off its butt and finally whipping together some real live Blogger-officiated comment hosting. Not to mention a smattering of new and shiny templates - all of which come equipped with a nice little "profile" area, and even a place to put pictures. Ooh, shiny!

But I'm a creature of habit and am thus regarding all my friends very suspiciously from my spot deep in the mud as they all "keep up with the times." Paralyzed by indecision, feverish with inner conflict, I remain deeply troubled by this call for change. Why can't things just stay like they are? Why, for the love of God?

Stay tuned for a snazzy new look.